Tuesday 20 June 2017

LET'S SAVE KENYA BEFORE DAWN



We suffer from selective amnesia and just a few years down the devastating post-election violence, Kenya has degenerated to the same divisive politics that saw the country up in flames. We are quick to break down the competitive national politics into an ethnic crisis, without the awareness that we are gradually but progressively flushing our country down the toilet. How many more lives, rape cases and internal displacements will it take for us to realize that election-related violence makes life a constant process of adapting to basic insecurity?


Besides the men and women that bear the brunt of violence, every aspect of human existence is threatened, right from food security to economic progression. War has never been and will never be a groundwork for courage and virtue because such is similar to confusing debauchery for love. Kenya enjoyed the comfort of homogeneity at some point in history but when it comes to the proverbial fool that never learns from history, Kenyans are the worst of the lot. 


Our leaders have doubled their efforts to gain fame, forfeiting the aim of uniting the nation. They forget that the love of fame is absolute vanity and a representation of immature leadership ideologies. If you are not a targeted victim, be assured of being an affected bystander in an instance where you are the vessel used to spread the ethnic tensions that are already building up. If you were lucky enough in 2007, at least learn from the neighborhood. 


The political regime in South Sudan pitted two major communities against each other and violence ensued. Massive population displacements and gang brutality made headlines. Until today, famine and other forms of humanitarian crises rock several parts of the country. Political institutions literally crushed while ethnic groups became stronger. South Sudan nationals hoped that independence would offer a new path to development and peace but civil wars are always tragic. The people that had constantly fled minor wars in the country once again packed to seek asylum elsewhere, Kenya included. 


In the Democratic Republic of Congo, violence surged across the entire country as militias slaughtered innocent citizens due to political interests. Kenyans are wise enough to shun the Kabila and Museveni antiques but it all goes to waste unless we have each other’s backs. Maize flour shelves are empty at the moment, ask yourself what will happen if Kenya retracts to 2007. I do not intend to open up fresh wounds but to remind us that we are going down the wrong lane.


Spreading leaflets aimed at sparking ethnic violence is an act of naivety and lack of purpose in life. Let our leaders argue senselessly but have it in mind that it is the power of your vote that will change the dynamics of national politics in this country. As one philosopher says, happiness is the only sanction of life; where happiness fails, existence remains a mad and lamentable experiment. Watch out, lest you flush our country down the toilet and this is definitely a one-way road.

Monday 13 February 2017

Valentine's vs Fools day

Let us clear the air from the outset. Before you detach the thoughtless mandibles, be informed that am not one of the frustrated single jerks. I have a series of girlfriends, of all sizes, shapes and colors. I am the typical fisi with a catalogue of girlfriends that I must update each day. This variety notwithstanding, I find no value in Valentine’s Day. The only difference between this day and fools’ day is the name.

For those in the love hype, I must admit that you are purposeless in life, shortsighted and retarted when it comes to cognitive ability. Love is a human ideal developed by realists to please the only mistake that heaven had to make in the course of the creation narrative-creating a woman. This is a consumerist day that gives the feminine gender an opportunity to trump upon a man’s ego. If you cannot afford a bunch of roses and some candy, boy, get a rope.

What is it in flowers that I see atop every casket in all the funerals that I have attended? Women and the devil are inseparable! Love dies and so do the roses! Why can’t you opt to please your ego rather than one ungrateful idol that is manipulative, deceptive and life-threatening?

What is the significance of red anyway? I once thought it is associated with danger, unless some idiot enlightens me. Why should I love you on February 14th when we had a sexual contract ending immediately after the New Year? Love is a contractual phenomenon these days and woe unto the uninformed jerk that invests his emotional being in one thong!

A lady’s status automatically drifts to ‘single’ when the number of sexual partners drops below two digits. Given an opportunity, I’d kill all the bellied sponsors and sensitize sensible men to think with their upper heads rather than the lower ones. With such a move, help me count the number of suicidal ideations that will emerge. I rest my case!