Ladies have progressively shown
no headway to finding lasting companions because the pool of marriageable men
is shrinking by the day. This draws from the fact that millennials belong to
the female species and can barely be called ladies. Ladies were called angels
back then when there was no painstaking attention to appearance.
Ladies were coveted when there
was no need to shave their underarms and rub them with cotton balls soaked in
rubbing alcohol. We loved them before the advent of thongs and G-strings, when
bikers went knee-high.
Women were marriageable when
parents planned marriages, based on character match and hard work. Before concluding
that I’m still living in the renaissance period, understand that ladies existed
before the discovery of weaves and wigs, a period of which water pots could
effortlessly balance on their heads.
Love was cherished when ladies
were open to reproach and correction, not in this generation when they know so
much about compound nouns that just before you complete the word mother, they’d
have uttered ‘fucker’.
Women were beautiful butterflies
when milking jelly was the only cosmetic product, not in this age and time when
their dressing table is more of a cosmetic shop. They thrived on natural fruits
like guavas and ripe bananas, where the facial glitter was all natural. Men back
then loved their rounded nature, not today when slimming pills sell more than
antibiotics just to ensure that they have no waist.
Ladies were sacred beings when
seduction was purely a masculine vibe, not today when they ask for your number
and pay random visits to your one-roomed apartment. Back then they paid allegiance
to one man, not today when they compile a list and end up using lemon fruits to
shrink the vaginal walls. Science has it that seeing multiple men will expand
the muscular walls. Rather than rendering scarce the supply of lemons and other
vaginal oils, reduce the number of men and allow the muscles to contract
naturally or live with the hollow nature and see no man in your life.
Women were compared to the
Biblical Abigail before the discovery of Guarana, when Fanta orange was the
only known feminine drink. Stoney was left to men, not these days when snap has
turned things around. With a snap of your finger, you can now thrive in the
company of any female companion. Surprisingly, ladies are now taking to the
higher table, competing and even outdoing men in Scotch, Irish and single-malt
whiskeys. They smoke like chimneys and thrive on shisha more than they do on
ugali, leaving the question as to what kids they will bring forth.
Women were sanctified during
those days of plastic shoes, when high heels and wedges were a history. Leggings
were yet to be known, not forgetting that cleavage did not even exist in the
dictionary. Tracing it to history, however, their character baffled God in
Eden. Right from Eve to Lot’s wife, they do not pause of such a good history.
Unless things change in the near future, single motherhood will be the only
parenting style in days to come.
