Friday 6 September 2013

REASONS WHY GOOD RELATIONSHIPS END
Love is difficult to define, impossible to measure and ultimately difficult to understand. It however remains a basic force that steers the world, and one of the ingredients of happiness in life. The subject is romantic love, which at some point comes to an end when couples call it quit. It is not something enjoyable but the lasting consequences that it will leave compels us to talk of it openly,in an effort to save a sinking boat. Some of the reasons why relations end include:

Premature commitment
Most a times we commit ourselves to partners whom we know little about, and the personal disclosures that come later in life take us into two different worlds that will never meet whatsoever. The initial emotional attachment can be deceptive, because intimacy ought to be backed up with commitment in order for relationships to last. Couples who go into commitment without knowing each other deeply are at a greater risk of breaking up. It is factual that passion ends in the course of any relationship, which means unless there is a firmly grounded commitment, the union crumbles in dubious circumstances.

Poor communication and conflict resolution strategies
Communication has been cited by most researchers as the main reason why relationships end. It binds people together, and makes it possible to share and resolve conflicts. No matter how difficult a situation is, it can be solved through effective communication. Even infidelity has been brought to an end through reasonable and emotion-free communication. Suppress your anger, clear off that determination to terminate the relationship and walk to the negotiation table with a clear mind. Communication also means opening up, and talking about matters just as they are. If it is a sexual matter where one partner is underperfoming or demanding too much, be open and talk about the sexual part. Sex is not a derogative topic. It is God given, therefore clear your mind but in a manner that will not make the partner feel intimidated. Say how, when and where you want it. Surprisingly, most problems arise in the bedroom and ultimately turn it into a sitting room when it no more offers comfort.

Infidelity, cheating or deception
Cheating is one of the biggest deal-breakers. Commitment to love means staying truthful. Some people merely find infidelity pleasurable, by trying a variety of partners. However, there is no novelty in having sex with multiple partners. Straight to the point, sex will always be sex, even if it involves a god and a goddess. Male orgasm will always be ejaculation, which is achievable with any woman, while female orgasm remains that 'unexplainable feeling' which too can be attained with any man as longer as there is commitment to give and take. What then are people looking for in cheating? Size of the penis and sexual orientation should not be the scapegoat. If you want special styles of service and delivery, teach one another. Behaviour is always learnt. However, to the point that a partner decides to cheat, something must have been wrong, and the relationship already on its downhill path.

Going physical too fast
Forming a stable emotional circuit that will sustain a relationship takes time and effort. The willingness to commit and trust are built over time and cannot be rushed. Surging out all the sexual energy within the first few hours or days of a relationship often shorts out a potential relationship. Proceed at a reasonable pace. Sexual behaviour is driven by curiosity, and once this is settled, relationships may go stormy. Sex does not necessarily cement a union, but if it is consented and deeply discussed by the two parties, it works well.

Availability of a more attractive relationship
Some of the deteriorating relationships stand the test of time, until a more appealing relationship looms. This is due to the emergence of a partner who is ready to do the things that you are not ready to do to your partner. Changes in a relationship can either build or break it. If you seemed so romantic and dressed in a sexually harassing manner from the onset, maintain it so that you continue to give the same emotional attraction that brought the two of you together. If you change the sweet names suddenly, become aggressive and start wearing mine-field-branded clothing to bed, someone salivating out there will take advantage of the laxity, and this brings to an end even the most stable relationships.

Love is a give and take incidence, therefore if it happens that one partner has this feeling of an exaggerated sense of self importance, it becomes a potential threat to quitting. No one is superior in a relationship, no one should be begged, and no one should benefit more than the other. Sex is a give and take affair, which means no partner is giving or receiving too much. When it grows too hot, with very little stamina left to hold on, and with all communication efforts having failed, couples opt to go separate ways. It becomes a healthier option, or else sanity will be lost.

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