Did man’s predicament begin with
the creation narrative? Could Eve’s creation be the only poor decision that
heaven had to make? I am a staunch Christian that is never meant to question
any aspect of human existence but come to think of it; Starting with Eve and
ending with Mary the groupie that Jesus himself walked with, between the verses
you will find the intriguing evil plans and deceptions propagated by Jezebel, Delilah,
Salome, Lot’s wife and Potiphar’s wife.
And so it came to pass that as
men progressively became dogs, millennial ladies turned into bones that could
be picked and dropped anywhere across the road without objection. Is it because
they discovered that their nakedness can be commercialized? Well, it is a
matter of time before men wake up too. As it stands, a good car turns me on at
the expense of a naked woman and I know a couple of men that have had
heartaches in their desire to understand the feminine characters.
The only time when a woman will
truly be understood is when her beauty prime has faded, teats have fallen slack
and hips have tilted like the earth’s axis. Only then will she remember the guy
with a six-inch that she dumped for a two-inched sponsor. What is it with women
even in an age where men have totally transformed?
The rate at which men turned
androgynous was predictive of a diminishing marriage institution. How could a
man raised to compete and be aggressive fall so low as to take feminine roles
in the pretext of being romantic and caring? Women progressively refused to be
yoked into marriage and at the same time, desperate and dying cougars were
seriously dishing out a share of their wealth for a taste of younger blood. Girls
as young as 17 acquired a sense of wealth and considered men subordinate.
We live in a generation where all
that men have is their word and perhaps their two balls for those that are
lucky to come from anywhere in Kenya but Nyeri. Show a 22-year old lady all the
romance and care that she needs but brother, she will walk away as though you
were a simple billboard to be read and left by the roadside.
Nature has an interesting way of
bringing them back though; wait until wrinkles disfigure the eyebrow line.
Watch out for that moment when in long undergarments, she will be struggling to
cover the network of stretch marks. Be patient enough to testify against the
inability of a padded bra to support her overweight glands. Have I mentioned
the moment when an expensive cosmetic closet makes her appear as though she had
a terribly-administered Botox injection?
If you understand what I mean,
this is the only time when a woman will respect you for your two testicles. She
will make it her duty to call every evening. Her phone will be yours even when
it has no game that you can play. Leave a blue tick to her Whatsapp message and
she will start fidgeting. The cubed cart-pusher that she cheated on you with
would be happily married to a class 8 dropout by then. 93 % of her sponsors
would already have succumbed to lifestyle illness and the remaining 7% cannot
afford a round of rodeo. Her less-attractive peers that she despised would
already be raising a family. And this is the moment when you will get a true
picture of the real helper that God conceptualized before taking Adam’s rib.
A conclusion will perhaps be
vulgar. So never struggle to understand a woman. Especially the modern-day
woman.
